Some of my thoughts on the mediation process and outcome:

I am much more comfortable with the outcome than I ever expected to be. There were times that I was ready to concede an argument for the sake of reaching a conclusion, knowing that I would resent my partner for taking advantage of me. But you continued to look for alternatives and compromises that were acceptable to both of us. I think that the success of the process was in part due to the fact that neither my partner nor I felt threatened by what you were doing – you dealt with facts and clarifications of intentions. This allowed both of us to feel that our interests and needs were being considered and protected.

I felt that your systematic approach kept us on track and avoided emotionally charged situations. I did not know what to expect from the process, and at times felt frustrated that we did not jump right to what I considered “the real issues.” But I came to realize that going through the steps of the process was critical for the ultimate success. I am so relieved that we avoided a battle in court. I have no doubt that that would have been a financial disaster for us, and worse, would have resulted in years of anger, resentment and pain for my daughter, my partner and myself. I feel that I have had to bend, but in ways that were not as difficult as I expected. And I feel very ready to start the next phase of the dissolution of this relationship, with a clear mind and conscience. Thanks for making this all happen – I haven’t been to any other mediators, but to enough counselors and other professionals to appreciate how good you are at what you do.

Kathryn

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Carl,

I just wanted to thank you again for the invaluable help you provided to B____ and me. Even though we didn’t “do” our marriage very well, we did manage to handle our divorce – with your help – in a way that we can be proud of. There was minimal rancor and everything we did was directed toward a peaceful, just settlement. As I said to one of my friends, you not only helped us with the disposition of our stuff, but also with our “stuff” – the emotional baggage that needed to be jettisoned.

I came through this process feeling better about myself and about my husband than when we began. I never would have thought it possible that we did so much valuable work in so short a time. You will long be remembered for helping us take care of ourselves and our child – today, tomorrow, and for all of the tomorrows that we shall live.

A. Mitchell

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I have the highest respect for your skills as a professional mediator. Your gentle, intuitive assistance with the difficult process of dissolving my 27 year marriage was invaluable. You listened to and respected my thoughts and feelings... I felt as if I was held in a very supportive, protected space while being guided through my life changing transition.

Jacqueline Audrey Martin

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